A Joyful, Sorrow-Filled Heart

A Joyful, Sorrow-Filled Heart

Merry Christmas!  It’s just such a joyous season, right?  Anyone else feel a little less than thrilled?  While this season is a joyful season, it is also a very difficult season for many.  Yesterday was my daddy’s birthday.  He would have been 63 years old.  However, we lost him one year, 6 months, and 24 days ago, but who’s counting?  Last year was our first Christmas without him, but I think we were all still in so much shock it didn’t 100% register.  I busied myself trying to make sure everything was coordinated and organized, making sure everyone was okay and nothing was going to send anyone into an emotional firestorm.  This year is a different story.  Reality has set in and I have slowed my roll.  I am filled with sorrow.  I am grieving.  These feelings are in direct conflict with how I feel about celebrating the birth of Christ, the one who delivered, rescued and saved me.  These feelings are in direct conflict with how blessed I feel about being with my family during Christmas.  Regardless, the feelings are coexisting in my heart.  I am hurting.  I am deeply wounded, and I still don’t understand why Daddy’s gone.  I am convinced all I will ever feel is hurt at the loss of the man that chose to love me as his daughter. …THE REST OF THE STORY

Drop the Sand Bags & Soar

Drop the Sand Bags & Soar

Last night I enjoyed my first night back with an incredible group of ladies.  I had the honor of sharing with them a portion of the lessons I learned during my concussion recovery.  The particular lesson I shared was really more than just one lesson, but a series of lessons from God to my heart.

As I have previously shared, the initial recovery time included a million thoughts running non-stop through my head.  So the first I heard from the Lord was to “Stop toiling and striving and just rest”.  When I released all thoughts and all perceived control, I was open to hear from the Lord in a meaningful way.  That time of hearing from the Lord through His word, through prayer, and through Spirit began to reveal things about myself and the condition of my heart. …THE REST OF THE STORY

Scars for the Journey

Scars for the Journey

The other night as I was trying to sleep these thoughts kept rolling through my head and heart.  I believe they are meant to be shared for someone that may be in a dark part of their journey.

I once lived in a dark, dark pit where there was no light and there was no hope.  But God had mercy on me and saw fit to rescue and deliver me.  Have you had a ‘but God’ moment?  Not a day goes by that I forget the pit from which the Lord brought me.  While I remember the pit, I don’t stay focused on the pit.  I’m not meant to stare at that place for nothing good was there and nothing good will come from focusing on that place.  I stay focused on the God that brought me out.  So, in my daily life I can’t help but praise and worship the God that saved my life in so many ways.  I can’t help but think of Him and feel a rush of gratitude.  The gratitude isn’t reserved for a season or a specific date.  My gratitude flows freely daily because of who God is to me. …THE REST OF THE STORY

Easy and Light (Lesson 1 Post-Concussion)

Easy and Light (Lesson 1 Post-Concussion)

As mentioned in my last post, a couple months ago I fell which resulted in a concussion.  Concussions are serious and recovery is no joke.  The first couple weeks were spent in a dark, quiet room with little to no outside interaction.  No computer, phone, television or any type of screen time was allowed.  No reading or cognitive activity was allowed.  The only thing required was to rest.  For some this may sound like a really simple thing to do.  It may even sound like a ‘vacation’.  To me it seemed like a punishment or mild torture.
…THE REST OF THE STORY

I’m Back & I’m Outraged

I’m Back & I’m Outraged

 Merriam-Webster offers these synonyms for ‘outraged’:  angered, enraged, fuming, furious, incensed, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irate, livid, riled, ticked, teed off.  Outrage can also be defined as impassioned anger.

For the last couple months I have been on an extended intermission from life both online and in the immediate world outside my door.  I have been recovering from a concussion.  It has been a scary time, a trying time, and a very enlightening time.  The Lord didn’t cause the accident that resulted in my concussion, but He certainly used it to clean up my perspective.  So this begins the series of Post-Concussion Discussion. …THE REST OF THE STORY

My Life…Oh the Facets!

My Life…Oh the Facets!

Recently, my life has been a whirlwind.  Between huge professional projects, business travel, family vacation, a pesky cold, and ministry, I have been spinning, spinning, spinning.  In the midst of it all, I had this amazing family vacation.  While preparing for it was part of the whirlwind and stress, when we arrived at the beach, we had a lot of down time.  We enjoyed quite a bit time on the beach under the umbrella.  We chatted and reminisced.  We snacked.  We napped.  We read.  And sometimes we just quietly watched the waves roll in and the families around us interact.  Spending nearly seven days on the beach leaves a lot of room for thinking and general contemplation.  One thing I have learned is that when you’re sitting in front of an immense part of creation, you suddenly feel the smallness and the vastness of life all at once.  It’s totally contradictory.  You see the vastness of God’s creation and just know how small you really are.  In contrast, you begin to think about the small world that is your life with all its aspects, and suddenly your small world seems so big.  Maybe big isn’t the right word.  I believe multifaceted would be a better word.  Perhaps you can’t relate at all, but I feel like my life has so many facets.  I am living a multifaceted life.  How about you? …THE REST OF THE STORY