Some of you know that my focus word for 2018 is CONFIDENCE. This is the word that is at the center of the vision board I created at the beginning of the year. Most people see me as a very confident person. I’m not. I’m pushing through a lot of insecurities on a daily basis. My focus is not only a confidence in myself, but a confidence in the Lord. I’m a work in progress. …THE REST OF THE STORY
Recently, I shared about Baggage Free Living. I have lived life so I have my share of baggage. My baggage is big and it’s heavy, but I don’t carry it anymore. I love Galatians 5:1 (NIV) as it describes what I know to be true.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” …THE REST OF THE STORY
Recently I have really been meditating on Hebrews 12. I shared some thoughts and had some great discussion with a women’s life group last week.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV) …THE REST OF THE STORY
How is everyone doing since the holiday festivities have ended? Since the new year has begun?
If you’re anything like me, you’re experiencing a crash emotionally, mentally, and physically. Maybe you’re crashing physically after eating all those sweet treats and salty meals you aren’t accustomed to consuming. Maybe you’re crashing physically because all the cold weather makes you feel as though you just need a long, winter’s nap in a warm bed, you know, hibernation. Maybe you’re crashing emotionally after having a euphoric joy or just holding it together through the holidays. Either end of the spectrum can leave one feeling like they’re bottoming out after it’s all over. Maybe you’re crashing mentally after all the planning, preparing, giving the perfect gifts and attempting to create a joyous occasion for your loved ones. Or maybe the holidays just exhaust you because of the loneliness you feel during this time whether it’s from solitude or forced close proximity in uncomfortable family dynamics. Whatever your experience was for the holiday season, many of us feel like we’re crashing when January comes. After the numbing Christmas sedative of go, go, go, and think, think, think, we’re left here, in the middle of the ‘Post-Christmas/New Year’s Yuck’. We reflect back on what just happened with thoughts of how great was that, unresolved issues, family dysfunction and/or what the heck just happened! It’s like laughter and tears collide, and we don’t know what we feel, but it feels like a crash. I have deemed this The January Crash. There’s actually a mental health term for this called S.A.D. or Seasonal Affective Disorder. It’s a fancy name for the winter blues (not quite clinical depression, but it’s a dark place). …THE REST OF THE STORY
I would love to hear from everyone. What are the greatest lessons you learned in 2017?
I have learned a lot. I feel like many of the lessons started in July while I was at the beach. The Lord really started dealing with my heart about my priorities. What I didn’t realize was that my out of order priorities was a sign of the condition of my heart. I love the Lord and He knows my heart. My heart is to serve and please Him. However, I was suffering from some heart idols. I didn’t even know that term when the Lord first started dealing with me. This was just the beginning of “The Year of Learning”. Ironically, to get me to be still long enough to really listen and learn the lessons God had prepared for me, it took suffering a concussion. 2017 became “The Year of the Concussion”. That’s funny to me. It’s just another sign of God’s sense of humor. It’s also proof that God sees things differently than we see them. Who knew that a severe bump on the head could bring clarity and understanding?!?! God knew. …THE REST OF THE STORY
Merry Christmas! It’s just such a joyous season, right? Anyone else feel a little less than thrilled? While this season is a joyful season, it is also a very difficult season for many. Yesterday was my daddy’s birthday. He would have been 63 years old. However, we lost him one year, 6 months, and 24 days ago, but who’s counting? Last year was our first Christmas without him, but I think we were all still in so much shock it didn’t 100% register. I busied myself trying to make sure everything was coordinated and organized, making sure everyone was okay and nothing was going to send anyone into an emotional firestorm. This year is a different story. Reality has set in and I have slowed my roll. I am filled with sorrow. I am grieving. These feelings are in direct conflict with how I feel about celebrating the birth of Christ, the one who delivered, rescued and saved me. These feelings are in direct conflict with how blessed I feel about being with my family during Christmas. Regardless, the feelings are coexisting in my heart. I am hurting. I am deeply wounded, and I still don’t understand why Daddy’s gone. I am convinced all I will ever feel is hurt at the loss of the man that chose to love me as his daughter. …THE REST OF THE STORY
Last night I enjoyed my first night back with an incredible group of ladies. I had the honor of sharing with them a portion of the lessons I learned during my concussion recovery. The particular lesson I shared was really more than just one lesson, but a series of lessons from God to my heart.
As I have previously shared, the initial recovery time included a million thoughts running non-stop through my head. So the first I heard from the Lord was to “Stop toiling and striving and just rest”. When I released all thoughts and all perceived control, I was open to hear from the Lord in a meaningful way. That time of hearing from the Lord through His word, through prayer, and through Spirit began to reveal things about myself and the condition of my heart. …THE REST OF THE STORY
The other night as I was trying to sleep these thoughts kept rolling through my head and heart. I believe they are meant to be shared for someone that may be in a dark part of their journey.
I once lived in a dark, dark pit where there was no light and there was no hope. But God had mercy on me and saw fit to rescue and deliver me. Have you had a ‘but God’ moment? Not a day goes by that I forget the pit from which the Lord brought me. While I remember the pit, I don’t stay focused on the pit. I’m not meant to stare at that place for nothing good was there and nothing good will come from focusing on that place. I stay focused on the God that brought me out. So, in my daily life I can’t help but praise and worship the God that saved my life in so many ways. I can’t help but think of Him and feel a rush of gratitude. The gratitude isn’t reserved for a season or a specific date. My gratitude flows freely daily because of who God is to me. …THE REST OF THE STORY
As mentioned in my last post, a couple months ago I fell which resulted in a concussion. Concussions are serious and recovery is no joke. The first couple weeks were spent in a dark, quiet room with little to no outside interaction. No computer, phone, television or any type of screen time was allowed. No reading or cognitive activity was allowed. The only thing required was to rest. For some this may sound like a really simple thing to do. It may even sound like a ‘vacation’. To me it seemed like a punishment or mild torture.
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Merriam-Webster offers these synonyms for ‘outraged’: angered, enraged, fuming, furious, incensed, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irate, livid, riled, ticked, teed off. Outrage can also be defined as impassioned anger.
For the last couple months I have been on an extended intermission from life both online and in the immediate world outside my door. I have been recovering from a concussion. It has been a scary time, a trying time, and a very enlightening time. The Lord didn’t cause the accident that resulted in my concussion, but He certainly used it to clean up my perspective. So this begins the series of Post-Concussion Discussion. …THE REST OF THE STORY