Some of you know that my focus word for 2018 is CONFIDENCE. This is the word that is at the center of the vision board I created at the beginning of the year. Most people see me as a very confident person. I’m not. I’m pushing through a lot of insecurities on a daily basis. My focus is not only a confidence in myself, but a confidence in the Lord. I’m a work in progress.

Recently, I heard about a book called The Confidence Code for Girls. I was intrigued as I watched GMA and listened to the authors talk about the market research and what young girls today are experiencing. According to their studies, confidence levels drop by 30% for girls ages 8-14. Girls in this age group are 22% less likely to call themselves confident. On GMA they also interviewed a few girls ages 12-13. I could totally relate to what they were saying. It seemed that a lot of the lack of confidence was tied to what others thought. The other element that drove their lack of confidence was the feeling they were not allowed to fail. The girls talked about the competitions and tryouts they decided not to participate in because of a fear of failure. I experienced the same thing at their age, but what really bothered me is realizing that I still fight these battles regularly even in adulthood. I want others to think highly of me, and I’m often afraid to try something that’s difficult because fear of failure. It made it all too obvious that CONFIDENCE was the right focus word for me!

To feed the perfection requirement, we have social media. Sure! It affects young girls, but how many of us adult women feel less confident in ourselves or the state of our lives because of social media? We don’t want to be completely authentic or genuine for fear of being judged. However, if we continue with that train of thought what are we exhibiting to young girls we influence? We are generating perfectionists. We are producing girls that turn into adult women that are not empowered to be themselves. I think it’s time we break out of this!

So, I’m making a choice. I’m stepping out of this captivity of perfectionism! Will you join me? Will you choose to be a risk-taker? Will you choose to be authentic? Be empowered by no longer being bound by the ‘what ifs’!

This is what I have learned:

  • Building confidence requires taking risks, doing things that are hard for you.
  • Building confidence requires struggling, failing, trying again, and making progress one step at a time.
  • Confidence comes from the process. Without struggling, there’s no process.
  • Building confidence requires stepping outside of comfort.
  • Taking risks, struggling, and failing empowers you.
  • Confidence is essential for resilience, success, satisfaction and happiness.

As a step toward exhibiting confidence and overcoming the captivity of the perfectionism trap, I’m posting this pic. It’s just me. No make-up. No hair product. No photo effects. Just imperfect me!

Ironically, in this picture my shirt says, “Perfect is boring. Be imperfectly you.”

“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.”  Proverbs 14:26 (ESV)

Trusting in the Lord gives us confidence, and we can experience security in Him.  Proverbs 14:26 (ABV)

Join me! Post a picture of yourself all natural. #AuthenticMe #PerfectlyImperfect

Follow me on Twitter @amanda_bordner

©2018 Amanda Bordner

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